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President Mom
By Debbie Farmer
There is no person more qualified to run the country than a mom. President Mom would straighten out this country while talking on the telephone, making dinner, wiping runny noses and doing her nails. There would be a day care in every ballpark, a stroller on every golf course and a changing table in every men's room.
She would run on a Dependent Party platform with catchy slogans: "Don't say no (to me young lady)" and "Don't cross your eyes -- you'll stick like that." Mother's Day would be a paid holiday in the Bahamas, instead of a card and a breakfast that looks less appetizing than old gym socks.
President Mom would end all world conflicts by issuing time-outs to quarrelsome world leaders and making them say they're sorry. Guns and violence would be banned from the streets "Because it's not nice and someone could get hurt." Hardened criminals would be sent to their rooms without television or supper and fast food restaurants would only serve fresh meat loaf, peas and carrots.
Nuclear physicists would stop working on weapons a
