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Stop Crying!
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Question: My child cries easily, often, and
usually for unimportant reasons. The result around our house has been
a "Boy Who Cried Wolf" story. When he's crying about a
valid injury, nobody listens. Why does he cry so much, and how do I
get him to stop? Think about it: Don't demand that he stop: Don't
say, "Stop crying," since that never works, and only makes
you angry when your child cries harder! Instead, tell your
child what you do want, "I need to hear your words. Tell me
what's wrong. Use your big boy voice." Sometimes it helps to
get him started, "Georgie, talk to me. Say, 'Mommy, I want...'" Help him understand his feelings: Acknowledge
the reason your child is crying to validate his feelings.
"You're so frustrated because you want a cookie" or "I
know you really wanted to go with Daddy." Often crying is a call
for understanding. Acknowledgment can offer what your child needs to
hear, and may help him stop crying and move past his sad or angry
emotions. Don't respond: If the crying is
manipulative (for example, you said no more ice cream and your child
is crying), simply ignore it and leave the room. Is there a reason? Determine if the crying is
related to insufficient sleep, or poor eating habits. If so, move
bedtime earlier or have a daily nap or rest time for re-charging.
Also, watch your child's eating habits and make sure he's
getting three meals plus healthy snacks, and not going more than
three hours without food. Quality time: Increase the amount of
one-on-one time your child gets from the important adults in his
life. Sometimes crying is a plea for attention. Just remember to give
the attention prior to the start of the crying, not as a reward for
crying. Don't be so tough: Recognize that your
child is a sensitive person by nature. Use lighter discipline. Often,
with this type of child, a firm tone is often enough to get your
point across. Also, try to use alternate discipline methods such as
distraction or the use of humor to keep him on track. Avoid being too
harsh, as this behavior will just prolong the incidents of crying. Happy face/Sad face:Using index cards (or small pieces of paper) make ten cards that show happy faces, colored bright yellow on the front side. Draw sad faces,
(Excerpted with permission by NTC/Contemporary Publishing Group Inc. from Perfect Parenting, The Dictionary of 1,000 Parenting Tips by Elizabeth Pantley, copyright 1999)
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